The past few weeks I've been feeling like I just can't figure out what I like. I don't know if I see myself in the city or at the beach. In an SUV or a convertible. At the big, smart university in my state or the private university that I've already committed to.
I've always found myself obsessed with something, but I can never really figure out why I'm obsessed with it. Do I see myself living in NYC just because I wish I was Blair Waldorf and I just finished watching Gossip Girl for the third freaking time? Or do I actually love the thought of living in a city with millions of other people, trying to get my dream job?
Then, next thing I know, I've decided that I just have to live at the beach in Florida. But did I decide this because it's meant for me, or just because the tan girl I follow on Instagram who gets free bikinis lives there?
Oh, also keep in mind that I had an extreme obsession with moving to Hawaii for like five years. Like everyone who knew me, knew that I had a huge dream of going to Hawaii. This obsession stemmed from me watching Hawaii-5-0 religiously, but, oddly enough, the obsession ended when the series ended.
I've recently decided that I've just got to figure it out already. I truly want to know where my niche is.
After researching how to figure out who I really am, I have figured out that I'll never know unless I stop looking at other people's lives. So, I'm going to be getting off social media for a hot second, No Instagram influencers convincing me they have my dream life (nothing against influencers, I just have to figure myself out before I can admire their lives again!), no Facebook ads telling me what I need to buy, and no Snapchat stories making me wish I was more of a "going out" type person.
In the next couple of weeks, I am going to find myself, find my niche. And once I figure that out, there is no stopping me. Yeah, I'm gonna be obsessed with it. But, I think this obsession will be a valid one because it'll truly be me.
The saying "be yourself" may seem simple, but, trust me, it's not. It's difficult to figure out who "you" is in a world of "dream you's." So, I'm ready to take away all of the comparisons and figure out who I really am.
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